Last night in Dushgoi (part 1)

'You seem to know a lot', said Uglúk. 'More than is good for you, I guess. Perhaps those in Lugbúrz might wonder how, and why.'

And not only "those in Lugbúrz" did. For a long time, the Peoples of the West have wondered, too: How did Grishnákh learn about the One Ring? It was only in the Fourth Age that the files of Mordor's secret service, the Ears of Sauron, were opened to the public. This stunning record from the eavesdropping protocols leaves no doubt about Grishnákh's sources of knowledge:

Time: December 12, 3018 TA. Early in the morning.

KHAMÛL: Ey, G...Grishy, gimme zat bottle.

GRISHNÁKH: I zink ya had enuff.

KHAMÛL: Noooo. No one can drink a Ringf... (ooops)... a Ringfrith under the table. I am in full control of myselfff... (Burp).

GRISHNÁKH: Under the Eye's control, rather.

KHAMÛL: Thaz a lieeeee! I know exaccc... I mean, exaccally what I'm doing. The Eye won't stand that insult. Once He got zat Ring he will stop all of ya nasty little beasts telling such rubbish about us precious Nazgûl...

GRISHNÁKH: He got nine of 'em, anyway. And some others.

KHAMÛL: Not theeese ones. The other. The One.

GRISHNÁKH: The One?

KHAMÛL: Shhhhhh... no one dossss haff to know!

GRISHNÁKH: Come on, Khamûl, here's another pint.

KHAMÛL: Zanks. You're a real pal, Grishy. That Dormi... that Doriwim... That Dorwinion vintage is really the meanest one far around. (Burp.)

GRISHNÁKH: Now about that One...

KHAMÛL: Shhhhhh... no one dosss haff to know. Because, ya know, ze Eye lost it. Ya know how He isss, growing aged of all the millenia and so on. Hafff ya ever witnessed a Maia with progressing Alzheimer? I hafff, and I tell ya: Not a splendid sight, not at all. Always tossing zings around and blaming us Nazgûl for hiding zem from Him...

GRISHNÁKH: So He lost it?

KHAMÛL: Can't remember where He left it. Some ages ago, some say. Now, if only He gez it back, He could twist the noses of all them Tarks and Snagas in the West around. Understand what I mean?

GRISHNÁKH: An' ya? Do ya haff any idea where zat Ring of His is?

KHAMÛL: Not me, not me. But don't tell anypoddie, zat wretched fellow, zat Gollum sneaky zat wasss stinking 'round here, he dossss know somezzzing. Shire, he says, and Baggins. Beyond the Great River zat is, and zere is ash nazg... sorry, wrong language. I mean, zere is zat Ring of His.

GRISHNÁKH: Very interesting. Now, mind ya if I go out a little bit down to the Great River? I need some smelly night air to get sober again, I think.

KHAMÛL: Of cossse, of cossse. I'll stay he... heeeere. Waiter, gimme anozzer one! (Hickup)

Note: This record was first published in the Tolkien List in 1992.